I'm so mad at G-d, but maybe there's hope?

In Perek Gimmel, we are introduced to a new character, the Gever. In the first 17 pesukim of the perek, we are told about mad this Gever is at G-d for the destruction. This Gever blames G-d for all that He did to him, but he never actually mentions G-d's name until the Pasuk 17, where he has a change in heart. It blames G-d releasing all the anger that he had towards G-d and blaming Him for everything that happened without even using G-d's name.

There are three themes in the first 11 pasukim: 1. Darkness, 2. Animal Imagery, and 3. Entrapment/Encirclement. We see the theme of darkness when the Gever explains how he was misled and there was no one to guide him. There was an absence in the relationship with G-d and he has nothing. We see Animal Imagery when he explains that the pain is arbitrary. He says that G-d is a cruel and random G-d and the paain is not connection to any actions in this world. Finally, we see Entrapment/Encirclement when he says he was suffering without any chance of escape.

These 11 pasukim are all about the Gever in a very personal and self-absorbed way. He says that he tries to pray, but his Tefillot were shut out. He only mentions "I" and no "you" or "we". He says that everything that is happening to him is arbitrary. At this point, the gever fails realize that he sinned or the fact that there is a G-d and that is why this is happening to him.

In the next section of pasukim, 12 - 18, The Gever sees himself as the target of G-d and he wonders why G-d is picking on him. He no longer sees himself as like an animal where the pain is arbitrary. There might be a reason that this is happening to him, but he hasn't gotten to that point yet. He sees it as G-d is pointing an arrow towards him and that he is the target. At this point, he says that he has no hope in G-d beccause G-d did all of this to him. This was the first mention of G-d, and that is what causes him to actually think about this situation, there is a G-d.

The next section, 19 - 20, he really recognizes G-d as being there. He recognizes that G-d pulls all the strings, and he will later realize that G-d also pulls the good strings. Before, he had started being completely focused in himself and no one else, but now he is beginning to notice that there is a G-d there too and He is the one that is pulling the strings.

In the next section, 21 - 26, the Gever has a complete change of heart. He is starting to finally realize the good in G-d. He is going to have a conversation with himself and that conversatoin is going to give him hope. As much as he had the horrible experiences, G-d also does the good things. If I hope for G-d - if I recognize He does good things, I will once again have this salvation in the future. The relationship is mendable. The Gever has not said that G-d is amazing. He is only saying, so far, that G-d is merciful. Before he had shut his soul out to G-d, but noe he realizes that he can maybe have hope.

Next section, 27 - 30, is about how the Gever comes to a conclusion that maybe suffering is good. He says that man should accept G-d when they are young, because if you are going to suffer, it is better to suffer when you are young.

The next section 31 - 39, the Gever says that G-d decides wherther there is good or bad in the world, G-d is who decrees everything. He says that even if G-d causes man to suffer, He will still be kind to him. It is His command that decides whether good or evil will come to someone. He also mentions sinning in this section which means that maybe he is coming to the realization that maybe all of this is happening because he had sinned.

So far, we have seen the Gever go from someone who was completely self absorbed, a man that just lashed out his anger towards G-d for all the suffering that He caused to him and he has absolutely no hope to a man that maybe recognizes G-d and maybe he has some hope in G-d and maybe the relationship can be fixed, all the way to a man that really sees that it's G-d who pulls the string and controls what happens in this world and there is a reason that G-d does these things.