Last week in class, we learned about the final speech of the Amal. We learned that he is so afraid of death, that it blocks him from doing anything else in his life. He is so afraid of death that he would have rather not lived at all. He's not G-dlike, he can't be perfect, so why live at all?
In ninth grade, I had the same thoughts as the Amal. Maybe not as extreme, but it was there to some extent. I didn't care about school. There was this level of expectation people around me were expecting me to achieve and I never felt as if I was reaching their expectations. Then I felt that I don't like it anyways, I'm not as good as other people want me to be, I won't try.
It took me the whole year to realize that wasn't the best idea. I wasn't getting such amazing grades, I never liked school. I wasn't putting effort into anything. How do you get anywhere without effort? I, unlike the Amal, realized I needed to change. Not trying and just giving up because I can't reach other peoples' standards is foolish of me.
Everyone in this world has a choice. You get to choose how you live. Yes, G-d helps push you, but most of the time you have to take the first step. If you can't make the first step G-d won't be able to push you and you won't get anywhere.
You have to be willing to try in life. You won't be perfect, and you might not even be what others expect of you. But you have to realize that's not failing. To me, I think you accomplish your life goal when you are able t reflect on yourself and know what you are doing wrong and right in your life. When you gain the strength to criticize and appreciate yourself and live up to your own potential, that is accomplishing your own life goal.
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